I Grew Up
I saw gold.
The dawn of summer is early. The sky that should have been covered by darkness, became clad in gold and its appearance changed. What a beautiful light. The sky really is good. The large clouds, the blue sky, the golden dawn, Nanaki likes it all. It is almost morning, this is not the time to lecture the old fashioned god. Because Nanaki is a maid.
gotta get to work
“A human becomes god?”
Is he concerned, or is he being pessimistic? The god whose wings were plucked whispered that as he fell from the sky. If god does not try to understand humans, then humans might be able to become god. After all they just keep doing selfish things. You are gods. Have you taken a look at humans even once?
do you even care?
If you call yourselves gods, then look properly at us.
or you do not have that right
It was a worthless battle. Let’s end it here. Nanaki whittles him down and Friend kills, that’s the end. There is surely no meaning in reciting legends. If it is not erased it won’t end. Then, let’s ask the old legend to leave. Because no one wishes for that kind of legend. A salvation that is just lip service.
kinda most religions~
except maybe the great cult of nanaki
That is unmistakably praise. Wow wow, Nanaki has finally received praise from a god. How is it, humans are not things to be abandoned like that. I have clearly received praise from one of the three great gods, Igrey=Arairah. Then we shall conclude it in this golden sky.
but he is one of the three great gods for a reason
“But, my duty is to nip the bud of demise.”
he does have strange stuff
negligence is forbidden~
“——fall into a dream, Human Deus.”
wah, nice dream
Something impacted my head. The world spun at that unbelievable impact. Ev, even if a surprise attack got a hit on Nanaki, just how strong is this person. Wait, no, in the first place what was Nanaki doing? And where is here?
No, more importantly than that. That voice just now was like——
“I told you to light a fire by the time I come back. Now we can’t eat immediately.”
Mirror——no. After all I can feel an existence there, Stronger than anyone, kinder than anyone, more beautiful than anyone, and despite that a person that should have been killed by the world. The same black hair, the same face. Yet different, Nanaki’s origin. The person who made the terribly weak Nanaki strong.
“Hm? Hey wait wait, why are you crying!? Was it that painful!?”
….a nice dream indeed
Drop after drop. Drop after drop I crumbled. That which was necessary to remain as one of the strong, seeing the figure of Mother which I should have lost, it crumbled. It was a terribly nostalgic voice. A voice I haven’t heard for a long time, a voice I should never have heard again. I can hear it, I can certainly hear it.
“What is it, what’s wrong? You are already older so you can’t just keep crying, Nanaki.”
…….why am I feeling this pain in my heart too….
Ah, a phrase I heard before. Even though she always says that and acts strict, in the end she would pet my head. She was a person that was strange in various ways, but she was always concerned about Nanaki only. She loved me. I remember that kindness, so, the instant that hand once again petted my head, it was already, no good.
head pats trump even Nanaki
ok not gonna comment for rest of chap, I just….don’t want to ruin it
What should I cry out? I don’t know. It’s not even a voice, Nanaki’s crying is probably troubling Mother like that last day. Despite that I want to be spoiled. It should be fine to be spoiled. I have worked hard until now, I have lived desperately. It is appropriate to be praised. If Mother is there.
I just…can’t comment anything right now
“Seriously, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”
I see, it’s a dream.
I no longer care about appearances. At this moment, I even thought that strength was unneeded. I called for her again and again in an unsightly way, I hugged her tightly, tightly so to not let her go. Warm, the important thing I lost is here. The thing I lost long ago, is here.
“Stop crying already Nanaki. Like this you can’t become one of the strong——”
“——Thank you very much!!”
I interrupted my mother’s words. I’m a bad daughter. But please leave the scolding for later.
“Thank you very much for giving birth to me!! Thank you very much for bringing me up!!”
That small child that was Nanaki, has become this big. That is because Mother raised Nanaki on her own, because she made me strong. When the years passed, when I properly understood things and tried to convey this feeling of gratitude that was born, Mother was already gone.
Then I must convey it now. Sixteen years worth of gratitude. The gratitude for the coming future.
“For giving me a name, for loving me, for praising me, thank you very much!!”
I wanted to convey even one more thanks. Thanks to Mother, I became able to thank people. I became able to accept people. To have pride, and to value that. There are any number of things I want to talk about. But, I could only convey my gratitude.
“For scolding me, for being strict, for making me strong, thank you very much……”
——Before I wake up from this dream, as much as possible.
“I always…….I always wanted to convey it! I’m sorry for always worrying you. Nanaki is healthy, l can keep living! Because Mother……Thanks to Mother!”
Quickly, quickly. Before this world ends. The contents are surely becoming something horrible. But this mouth cannot stop. Even if these are inconsistent words, these feelings are real. I believe they will definitely reach.
“I was happy!! Being born as Mother’s daughter, being brought up by Mother!! Thank you very much, for giving me life……and……Mothe……Uu,ueeeee……”
Even though there are still so many things I need to say, the sobbing and the tears won’t stop. Ah, the world is breaking. It is shattering. No good, still no good. There is no way it’s fine for it to end this quickly. You are a god aren’t you, Igrey=Arairah, endure a little more!!
Even without doing it consciously, this body learns. Once I know this is a dream, I try to break it. Because I am a special human, because Mother gave me that strength. But now, just a little more, please.
“——that’s not something to be thanked for, Nanaki.”
In the ending world, Mother smiled beautifully.
That is the smile I lost that day. Even though I want to see it forever, tears get in the way.
“One day, Nanaki will also become a parent. Then you will understand.”
“Haha, I feel like I finally could meet Nanaki. I was wondering what was up with that polite tone.”
Mother died, Mother is already gone. That is why this is surely the Mother living within Nanaki’s memories. These words, this warmth is surely things Nanaki wished for, not real. But that’s fine, because despite that this is certainly Nanaki’s loved one.
“You grew up, you became strong. Nanaki.”
She gently hugged me, pet me. I couldn’t speak through my overflowing tears and uncontrollable emotions. What a convenient dream. I want to see it forever, I want to be here forever. But Nanaki’s life, Nanaki’s pride doesn’t allow that.
The world crumbled away. I will wake up soon. And then I can no longer meet her. I will lose this warmth again. I don’t want to let go, but……for my pride, I need to go.
“Well done, you are my pride.”
That, is something I always wished for. Ten years after Mother passed away, I always wished for just that. That wish which was never to come true, has now been fulfilled. Always, always, just one more time, I wished for that, it came true now.
“Well done, my role is finished. So, next is your turn, Nanaki.”
“I love you……Mother.”
In the disappearing world.
The smile I loved shined for a last time.
I saw a blissful dream. That was a convenient dream and was certainly unexpected.
“——Thank you, god.”
For the first time since I was born, I thanked my enemy.
I pierced the falling, falling, falling god with the final blow. I fought god in the golden sky, and saw Mother. Because I know this is the last time, I whispered words of farewell. I will never meet either of them again. But that is fine. Because I could convey it, because I conveyed it.
Hey, Friend. Today, Nanaki met Mother. That’s right, you surely won’t understand what I’m talking about. So let’s talk a lot. I want you to listen. About Nanaki. About Mother. And then, if possible I want you to affirm it.
——Nanaki is glad to be born.
I’m sorry about all the mistakes
screen was blurry for some reason
didn’t check through, going through it once while translating was tough enough already
might check at later date…but for now…….I need to recover
Edit (9/2/2017): fixed stuff a little and screen is blurry again